Father Sean (voice by Liam Neeson): I was lying in the gutter picking up my teeth, St. Peter himself appeared before me. 'Sean, yah wanker,' he says, 'repent of your wicked ways or sod off!' Then he gobbed in my face and turned back into the streetlamp.
Homer: Face it, Marge. Catholics rule! We got Boston, South America, the good part of Ireland, and we're makin' serious inroads in Mozambique, baby!
Bart: This is a Catholic church. Chicks got no authority here.
Marge: Homer, you've been gone all night—and you look like you accepted someone as your personal something. Were you at that Catholic Church?
Homer: Look, I know I was supposed to yell at that priest, but he's so cool! He plays drums in a band with a bunch of other priests!
Marge: I knew they'd try to convert you! That's what they do! Well, I'm not having another twelve kids.
Homer: Marge, no one's saying twelve. Nine, ten, tops! (gets out a pamphlet entitled "Plop 'til You Drop")
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