Measuring things is one of the greatest sources of unhappiness. Comparison always comes hard on the heels of measurement, and envy and bitterness follow shortly after. Some primitive tribes had a taboo on counting, and they may well have been on to something.
Men know three measurements off by heart: how large their salary is, how long their penis is and how big their car's engine is. Happiness for men is when salary over engine times penis equals 20. Women are much more sensible, and are more concerned with quality than quantity, except when it comes to shoes.
People tend to remember their vital measurements at different times in their life. For example, most people will remember what their waist measurement was when they were 32 and wonder for ever afterwards why their trousers no longer fit.
Some people, especially at work, like to measure everything, because this makes them feel as though they are in control. In reality, for everything that's accurately measured, there's some big and blobby unknown quantity lurking just around the corner.
Traditional imperial measurements are based on understandable human measurements. For example, a yard was the length of a man's belt. It was also how far you could walk before you fell over after you'd taken off your belt. Similarly, a mile is 2,000 paces. When you try to count up to 2,000 paces, a kilometre is roughly where you get to by the time you forget what number you're on.
Most everyday objects are measured in feet, except for horses, which are measured in hands. Really large things are measured in double-decker buses, swimming pools or football pitches. For conversion purposes, a football pitch is 124 buses and a bus holds one 18th of a swimming pool.
Minutes and hours are measured in 60s. The national speed limit and retirement age are also 60, or thereabouts. We used to work 60-hour weeks and retire at 60. Now the EU has put in speed bumps and we have to work 35 hours a week and retire at 70.
Very long distances are measured in light years. For example, it would take 30,000 light years to reach the edge of our galaxy. But long before that happened, someone would accidentally turn off the light because they thought you weren't in the room.
The Guardian
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