Just The Facts
Cracked on Fonts
In this modern day and age, a person's choice of font is as important as their dress-sense, their taste in music or their level of pendantry. It is a rare thing now that a person can reach the age of 21 without an acute sense of the appropriatness and application of fonts.
1. Never mix serif and sans serif in a single document. Serifs are the little added bits of 'decoration' to a character - so Arial has practically no serifs, while Excalibur consists of little else. Mixing these two fundamental distinctions in a document is akin to dressing as RoboCop at a Renaissance fair. It looks dumb and makes no fucking sense.
2. The vast majority of fonts should not be used, ever. It's not that they are all terrible, it's just that unless you're making a Cracked Topic page, there is very little call for them. If you do find yourself in the position where you need various and interesting fonts, don't use the ones that are available by default. Everybody knows what fonts are default and your effort at being creative will end up generating the opposite impression.
3. Don't use too many fonts on one page.
4. Don't ever use Comic Sans Serif. It was a font introduced by Microsoft in 1995 who imagined (as only Microsoft can) that having a comic-y font like that will make those Powerpoint presentations slightly less narcoleptic-y.
This is either the worst case of commercial prostitution since Michael Bay's Transformers, or a place where Heidi Montag clones are bred for blood sport.
You may think that this article is attempting to derive humour by treating something as silly as fonts as something rather grave. You'd be wrong. Fonts are a big deal.
Fonts that Inexplicably Cause Joy
These fonts are those that are highly favoured in the font world, fonts that are prefered to other fonts but are to most people exactly the same.
There are people who'd spit on their own grandma than use Times New Roman, but will swear by the majestic beauty of Georgia. Univers was once the golden boy of typefaces, being used on everything from General Electric products to Apple PowerBooks (remember those?) Many a post-grad has lost sleep over which font to use on his resume - Tahoma or Verdana? Calibri is used by people who actually quite like Arial, but are too afraid to admit it. It's sad, but we at Cracked know that everyone reading this has a favourite font. Wingdings doesn't count.