His non-lordship is not amused. Did I mention I turned down a peerage? I do like to bring it up, even though it was only a CBE. Still, one less thing for the wife to demand half of. It does so help me to talk my divorce through with the general public. All my other divorces have been delightful, so the problem can only be with this wife.
Thank God for my new girl. We met at a New York power breakfast - I go to a lot of power breakfasts for obvious reasons. Yes, I'm 68 and she's 34, but these gaps contract over the years. By the time she's 46 I'll only be 80.
My seduction strategy is to continue giving regular quotes on our "very warm friendship" while stressing we do not know how the warm, muggy friendship will develop. I'll use words such as "stimulating" and "charming" and "incredibly bright"; 34-year-olds love guys who talk like that, and she can't be in the slightest bit freaked out by my intensity. I'm planning to surprise her by turning up at her office to take her on a mini-break with my dear friend Michael Winner and a wonderful prenuptial lawyer.
The real mystery is why I haven't heard back from Barack Obama, whose speeches I've offered to write. Was going to let him know about the dukedom I rejected, but then the only possible explanation hit me. My wife's got to him first. Poor bastard.
Sem comentários:
Enviar um comentário