For more than 30 years I have been wondering what to do with my father's unfinished ramblings. But then the Lord of the Rings movies did very well, so I decided to cash in.
Notes on pronunciation
W - the w before a double l, as in "The Children of Húrin is complete Bowllocks", should always be silent.
Narn I Chin Húrin
Galdor and Hareth, who dwelt in the region of Hithlum, which was called Dorlomin, under the reign of Fingolan, had two sons, Húrin and Huor. Húrin wedded Morwen, daughter of Baragund son of Bregolas of the House of Beor, and thus of close kin to Beren the One-Hand. And so Húrin and Morwen begat Turin and Urwen, who was named Lalaith.
On a time, Húrin and Huor went out into the waters of Sirion and were ambushed by the Orcs before escaping into Dimbar. There they knew great hardship before being received by Turgon the King who had been counselled to treat them well by Ulmo the Elf.
The Eagles bore Húrin and Huor home to their kinsfolk, but the Elves and Men were sore afraid of Morgoth and ere long the Evil Breath took Lalaith from their midst. "Call her Lalaith no more," Morwen commanded. "From henceforth her name shall be Urwen once more."
"Please yourself," said Turin.
Of all that befell in the great battle in the East and the overthrow of the Host of Maedhros no more will be said. But no tale can contain all the sorrow of the struggle in the East where Huor was slain and Húrin captured by Morgoth and Gothmog and taken back to Angband with mockery.
Morwen was with child and gave birth to a daughter, Nienor, and in the Autumn of the Year of Lamentations she sent Turin away to be harboured by King Thingol. "Sador, who shall be named Labadal, he of the Foot Cloven by an Axe, shall accompany you," she said. Turin departed, ne'er to see Morwen again and this was his first great Sorrow.
Saeros was sore jealous of Thingol's affection for Turin in the Land of Doriath and called him Woodwose. For this, Turin was much tempted to strike Saeros with his mighty sword; but Saeros fell and died anyway and Thingol unfairly blamed Turin for his passing. Once Nellas had told the truth of Turin's restraint, Thingol forgave him but Turin was determined on his exile.
"Forsooth," he swore. "Henceforth shall I remain a derivative Wagnerian hero and wander mindlessly through the realms of Middle-Earth on a quasi-symbolic quest and, Children of the Eldar, resolve only to talk in sentences of unspeakable leadenness, punctuated by manifold parentheses."
Thus it came to pass that Turin was given the Helm of Hador by Beleg. Yet on the summit of Amon Rudh, Turin was carried off by Orcs. Yet Beleg went in search of Turin in that benighted land and on finding him was accidentally killed by Turin, thinking him a foe. And so it came that Turin arrived in Nargothrond.
After many travails, Nargothrond fell to the wickedness of Glaurung and so Turin returned to Dorlomin and thence to Brethil. Yet in Doriath, Morwen feared Turin had turned into Blacksword, a Prisoner of the Girdle, and resolved to track him down. And so Morwen and Nienor travelled to Brethil and there they found Turambar.
"My name is Turambar," cried Turin, "and Evil has been all my ways."
"And my name is Niniel," wept Nienor as they fell into each other's arms and she became heavy with child.
And lo, when Glaurung told her she had shagged her brother and Turin had been slain on his quest to rescue Húrin, she threw herself into a ravine. Yet Turin was mere wounded, and once he discovered Nienor's fate, he slew Glaurung before turning his sword on himself. So it was that no one lived happily ever after.
The digested read, digested: The Tolkien estate gets into bad hobbits.
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