“Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It’s Dick Cheney.”
“We can’t get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney.”
‘The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,’ NBC
“That’s the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent.”
“Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine’s Day. It’s the new Dick Cheney cologne. It’s called Duck!”
‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,’ Comedy Central“Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you’re watching right now, I can’t emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don’t care what kind of lucrative contracts they’re trying to land, or energy regulations they’re trying to get lifted — it’s just not worth it.”
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