- I finally read Twilight , and after hours of internet research, I’ve found a solution to a major problem I had with the story. I know why the vampire sparkles! Of course, innate body glitter is just the latest thing wrong with vampires at large, so I’ll start with the broader picture and work my way to the answer to that new riddle. First, I assert that vampires must be giant, highly evolved insects. That makes sense because most of the hematophages in the natural world are bugs. Second, like many real bloodsuckers, vampires must feed before they reproduce . However, unlike anything in the natural world, vampires seem to reproduce entirely through horizontal gene transfer . If they don’t kill their victim outright, then vampire genes invade the host and trigger… Metamorphosis . According to Twilight , the process takes days and is excruciatingly painful, which is logical given that the victim undergoes complete hystolysis and histogenesis without the benefit of a pupal ...